You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
i think my cat just said my name.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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