A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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