So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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