chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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