what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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