Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Randomize
