fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize
