in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
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I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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