Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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