I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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