Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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