I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
Need sex. Gaining weight.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
