Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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