You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
