His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
