Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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