I'm gonna have a badass scar
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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