You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
