dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
