whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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