I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
