My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
