A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize