I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
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