OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
