At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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