My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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