It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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