Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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