..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
