dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
