I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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