Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
