Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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