Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
