FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
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