I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize
