And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
