is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
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