my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I am naked and annoyed.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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