Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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