If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Randomize