As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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