I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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