Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
So squirting runs in the family.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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