You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
