Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
