I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
