but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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