that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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