Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
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