i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
