My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
