What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Dicks are not precious.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
