You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize