What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just blew my weed a kiss
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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