so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
