You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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