I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
i will never coherently bang her
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
