Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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