lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
