Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
