I wanna bring you to show and tell
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
Operation Purity has been aborted
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
